


My Lion -- Tyrion Lannister's Lament

by entropicangels



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Death, GoT spoilers, Other, Patricide, Season/Series 04, Season/Series 05, lament, slur-whore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 02:52:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6177271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entropicangels/pseuds/entropicangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyrion Lannister is in mourning. Anxiety, pain and just plain guilt wash over him until he may not find anything left.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Lion -- Tyrion Lannister's Lament

**Author's Note:**

> Scenes described in some detail from HBO’s Game of Thrones showing Tyrion’s feelings from s4e10 and s5e2.
> 
> You can also read it on my GOT Tumblr: robbjekyll.tumblr.com

“My lion…”

It was a phrase Tyrion Lannister remembered fondly, until now. Before now it was meant for him, and only him. But now Tyrion realized it was never for him. He was never her lion; it was always his father. His father who had been disgusted with him since birth, his father who was revolted by the sight of him, his father who condemned him to die.

When Shae’s face turned, almost in slow motion, from confusion to murderous, Tyrion knew that there would be no need for an explanation from her. He knew from that moment that she was lost to him. 

***

He pulled and he pulled at the rough metal; Shae’s choked breaths drowned out by his whimpers. 

Soon her breaths slowed until the silence in Tyrion’s ear was deafening. He was crying now.

He let go of her necklace, her noose. Lannister gold choked everyone who wore it, who bear it. This time it was especially true.

“I’m sorry,” he said, simply. 

He had not only murdered Shae, but it felt as if he murdered everyone he had ever loved. Shae; the fiery handmaiden. He couldn’t bear sully her name with “whore.” His mother; whom he had never met, but knew in his heart that she would have cared for him. And Tysha; the beauty that was stolen away from him in jest, where his heart always would lie.

In wiping his tears, he knew he had to be strong. He was a Lannister. And Lannisters always paid their debts; whether in gold or in blood.

***

His hands were still shaking as he sat in the dark box. It was his punishment surely. He had no doubt Varys would keep his word, however given the chance he would throw him over-board at the first sign of trouble. And Tyrion would let him.

Nobody would take him now, not even his brother after what he did to Father. 

Charged with being a dwarf, became a serial murderer. He guessed that was what life dealt him.

He didn’t feel any better now that Father was gone. He should have. It should have made him feel at least something other than anger as those crossbow bolts punctured through Father’s sunken chest. 

***

Sitting in brothel with Varys, of all people. Tyrion had escaped death once again. The imp and a eunuch, now that would have made for a great song. If only someone were here to listen. These people had no idea who they were. Or what he had done

***

As soon as he touched the girl’s hand, a pit that he thought he had filled with drink and fine wine revealed itself inside and he pulled away.

When Tyrion looked up into the woman’s eyes all he could hear was “My Lion” and Shae’s dying breath.

“Uhh, I’m sorry, I can’t,” said Tyrion.

There was those words again. He felt as if he was going to spew out what he had drunk.

He didn’t feel like he was going to kill this girl, no. But, he could not let himself fall in love again. Even if it was a one-time price. He would feel as if he would be betraying everyone he had ever loved all over again. And where would Tyrion Lannister be without anyone to care for him?


End file.
